You can not change anything by rejecting or judging; you can change things only by deeply accepting what they are, making peace with it and then observing better ways through the flow of creativity and joy of your being.
No matter how hard it is to make the decision and how afraid you’re of changes, the only way to understand what you truly want is to get still.
Breathe deeply and get still.
Often the best way to understand if the decision was right (especially if you were under pressure) is to observe your feelings after you made one! I know it’s “not very helpful at all!!” tip.
But when we’re nervous, we block the voice of intuition, our mind goes crazy with reasoning and fighting one argument after the other.
A second we make an action, act on a particular choice we feel either the urge of excitement or a fall of tension. It can be nearly noticeable, or very obvious, but in an instant, we know if the choice was aligned with what we truly want.
How is that helpful ..?! You might ask.
The thing is… we can trick our mind in believing we acted before we did.
Or we can make a step that is reversible (just in case), so we know how we feel about it.
Let’s talk about both.
The first option is easier in theory, but harder to perform. If you’re a sensitive woman (which I bet you’re), you can use it to module any situations, and this technique might work very well for you.
Did you know that our brain sees no difference between feeling as we perform something and actually performing it? That’s why people love sports events, our brain produces the same chemicals as we were actually running on a field, battling for a win!
Or think about emotional movies… it feels so damn real, doesn’t it?
Best athletes, performers, successful people in different fields refer to this technique as fundamental for their achievements.
See it, feel it, make your brain believe it is already there. Researchers prove when we’re able to focus on the feeling we will experience at the finish line, our performance grows dramatically.
In this case, we will use this technique not just to level up, but to understand which finish line we want to end up at!
Find some time and focus inwards: go deeply into your Universe. If you’re thinking you don’t have time, well, I bet you already spent twice as much just being nervous, it takes tones of energy. When we’re under pressure hours disappear.
When you go inward, breathe deeply for a couple of minutes (or as long as you need), calm down your mind, let the thoughts slide and gradually disappear.
Now you’re ready for an exercise.
Think about the choice you need to make as if you’re advising your friend. Don’t get emotionally involved; you’re just trying to give advice, so you need to see a situation from different perspectives.
Keep breathing.
When you think about different options, look around them, don’t judge them as good or bad, just observe.
Keep breathing.
When you’re ready, imagine yourself at the end result of each choice. Catch the feeling. Was it tension in your belly or expansion in your heart?
Trust yourself, don’t try to reason the way you feel.
Slowly come back. Keep breathing.
Now you know how you feel about the choices you face, write down your insights as fast as you can, while you’re still in the meditative state.
Your heart always knows what’s best for you.
Give yourself time, stay still as long as you can. Focus on the choice that makes you feel best, is the feeling of expansion growing?
Make a move, act in calmness, focus on the feeling of expansion you experienced to overcome fear and doubt when you need to step into choosing for real.
Making actual step wouldn’t help if you do it nervously.
You need to center your being first.
If your energy is hectic, spread to hundreds of different thoughts and worries at once, the steps you make will be just the reflection of that.
Center your being first.
Every thought we have is a flash of creation in the Universe. That’s why the law of attraction says - focus.
The focus is everything, we create and strengthen what we focus on.
Any decision or choice requires our energy, but how can we make it right if the energy we have is diffused all over turbulent thoughts?
Center your energy first.
This Guided meditation might help.
From a calm place, think: what small step can you take to test a particular choice?
For example, just recently I was very nervous about moving offices. For weeks I was driving myself crazy, deciding whether I wanted to move or stay, the old place was conformable and I was afraid of changes.
It isn’t too big of a decision, but for me, it represented a lot of things and a new beginning. The level of tension was high; I freaked out all the time.
Eventually, after crying till 2 am, I just had to do something, I couldn’t bear the “I need to make a decision” state anymore.
I centered my energy as much as I could, I went to my office team and gave my cancellation notice. I was shaking and afraid when I walked there, but as soon as it was done, I felt such a relief, my breathing expanded.
Although I was aware, it was reversible (not very comfortable to talk to the team again, but still :) I immediately knew it was right. I wish I hadn't driven myself crazy all that time and just did something sooner!
I didn’t know what I would do next, if the other office I found were as good, how I would manage my job in different circumstances and so on. There were lots of things to figure out. But after I did it, I felt in my heart: it was exactly what I wanted and needed. I felt peaceful, free, excited.
It helped me to step out of a nervous rollercoaster and feel the balance and strength of the ground under my feet again.
What step can you take right now to test the choices you face? Go for it!
Truly hope it was helpful!
Do you have any special tricks for making decisions? How do you use them?
With Love,
Kate