Have you ever felt...
I smashed wooden floors with my fluffy, pink, glittery Uggs (an image of a real badass, I know). While complaining, ok, b*tching, about my partner to my friend.
Then she said: "I’ve read this book… On how women carry hate, unconscious resentment, sense of betrayal, doubts and fear from all the collective female history...Generational trauma or smth.”
I was shocked for a moment. Well, f you, friend. After a moment of debate (whether to ever speak to her again) though...
She had a point. All the pain I absorbed lived in me.
As a psychologist, I constantly refer to things like collective unconscious and life scenarios. I had to dig deeper. It was in front of me for a while. I've been helping women for years, and always had a feeling: we're united by common patterns, suffering that's often beyond our understanding. With experience and time, it got clearer. I've heard my granma's hurt in moments when I was struck by anxiety, unable to speak up, drown in resentment. I've seen my own, my girlfriend's, my mom's, and aunties' scenarios in my clients' stories. It made sense. As if we all learned from the same ‘Behaviours and Believes To Create Hurt In Your Life’.
Then it hit me. Trauma and pain are passed through generations. With a history of women suffering, staying quiet for so long... how could we expect our minds to choose better? How can we expect ourselves to emotionally react to life in a completely new and unfamiliar way? We need to learn a new way of being a woman in the world. Powerful, and full of herself. Luckily, we know enough about the human psyche to know-how.
Generational trauma is pain, habits, and beliefs passed through great-great and greater mothers to their daughters => from them to their daughters => to you. The pain we carry as "truth". Like...
burn out, exhaustion ( a.k.a. If not me, then who...?)
feeling cut off, numb or dull
you've achieved a lot, but what's the point? you still doubt and criticise yourself constantly
being an emotional buffer for others' emotions
feeling incomplete and lonely
How does it kick your beautiful butt? 🍑 It shows up:
as arguments in your relationships
as fears and constant anxiety
as doubts about your place in the world
as loneliness and resentment
as feeling overwhelmed and overworked but never enough anyway
The experience women hold on their shoulders is bonding. We had to build ourselves up from ruins. We had to rediscover our confidence, our rights, our voices. We still do.
The good news: our stories circle around a few common themes. Archetypes that's been passed over for generations. I see them over and over again with my clients and students. I catch them in my own life when I feel resentful when I start an argument or just had enough.
Recognizing them can truly change your life. And that's why you're here. And I salute you for making this step for you.
Ready? 5 trauma archetypes:
1. A Savior
She’s always there for everyone. “If not me then who…?” is what she deals with. The world seems to fall on her shoulders. But when it comes to her own needs and desires… she’s on her own.
2. A Caretaker
Caring is her jam. Helping others fulfills her. Burn out is the price she pays.
3. A nice girl
She's a good girl. Always nice to everyone. Inspiration is her jam. She does the work and gives credit to others. Nurtures and provides advice. But no matter how hard she tries, it seems her efforts hit the stone wall. She feels used up, never appreciated.
4. An Emotional buffer
She’s a shoulder to lean on. Someone to talk to. Overwhelmed with her sensitivity, she spends most of her life inside her head. It seems she feels everything. It's exhausting! Kindness is her jam, but people seem to take advantage of it. It's easier not to feel.
5. A romantic
She falls in love easily. Her life, although active and accomplished, often feels incomplete without a relationship. She devotes herself fully. She’s the one always prioritizing relationships, friendships, or family.
It's tiring, and often she ends up feeling empty.
If it rings the bell, I want you to know: You aren't alone. And these aren't fixed settings. As women, we're united by the history of hardship. And we're here to heal and move on.
I and all resources on Art Of The Mind help you with exactly that. Embracing your strengths, sensitivity, glory. It's for sensitive and brave, extremely strong, and a little intense. Ambitious badasses and truly caring humans. Someone like you. Someone who by healing herself, heals the world.
P.S. If you know in your heart it resonates, you recognize yourself in all the above and dead ready for change (you had enough!), I can help you with fun, love and lots of support. Join me for a limitedly available one-on-one.
Or jump on a priority list for the upcoming Female Force Accelerator. It's all in the name. Enough said.
It took me years of training, research, and counselling experience to define common trauma themes, get to the core, break it down, and test the techniques. Besides the fact, I looove what I do, and the process of it, I want you to experience what my clients and I've been practicing: it doesn't have to take years and years of research, therapy, and soul searching to change what pains you.
I'm here to structure complicated psychological concepts into simple and effective. So busy bees like you can move away from feeling cut off, exhausted, overwhelmed (with fun and support!). And kick-ass, making their unique way of life and contribution happen.
My aim is to help you:
Ultimately I want you to love your life, be seen and appreciated, stay your soulful passionate self while remaining an ambitious badass you're.
Want in? Join the priority list just below 🙋♀️💃🏾 and keep an eye on my emails. I'll be letting you know closer to the training's launch. No
"don't miss your chance" BS in your inbox! Don't worry.
Don't want to wait, and ready for big changes right now? Join me for a limitedly available one-on-one
I'm excited that you're here, making this step for you. Even if you won't join us for the program when it opens, expect complimentary bonuses from me, helpful exercises, and tips to start you on your journey during the program's opening!